* * * * *
[Illustration: Punchinello Correspondence.]
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.
_Maud Miller._--Move to Chicago and get a divorce. No doubt the Judge
would take the hint.
_Algernon Sw-nb--ne._--We are obliged to decline your contribution. The
verses are very pretty, but the morals of our paper must be preserved.
_U.S.G._--The expression, "The United States is at peace," is
ungrammatical, but you did perfectly right in writing to Punchinello
before believing it.
_Susan B. Anth-ny._--You are mistaken. DARWIN nowhere mentions any
process of natural selection by which a woman may in time become a man.
_Hon. Benj. Disraeli._--The expression, "I will put a head on you,"
which you say Prof. G-LDW-N SM-TH uses in a cable dispatch to you, is
merely a slang phrase which he has probably learned from his trainer.
_Payne Collier._--There is more than one Irishman in SHAKSPEARE. It
appears from the text of _Hamlet_ that he was on the most friendly terms
with the "melancholy Dane," from the familiar way in which the latter
addresses him:
_Ham.
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